Social and Emotional Issues: Questions and Answers

All right, now it's your turn. Feel free to read over the back posts from this series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Please let me know your questions on this topic that were raised by the posts, or that remain unanswered after the post. I will answer as many questions as I can on June 21st. Thank you for your participation!

Social and Emotional Issues: Part 4

Social and Emotional Issues: Part 3

We have been focusing on the social and emotional issues related to gifted children for the past several weeks. While we are all aware of the issues facing gifted children in this area, I thought it would be most helpful to discuss strategies to help students build their skills in social and emotional development.

Last week, we talked about using Bibliotherapy as a tool for aiding in the slower to develop social and emotional skills of gifted students. We will discuss another strategy this week.

In my first year teaching, I was fortunate enough to come across Responsive Classrooms theories. One of the main components of a Responsive Classroom is a morning meeting. This has taken many forms in my different classrooms, but one component has remained the same.

Role Playing.

As I have worked with gifted students, I have noticed a few things. First, gifted students have trouble reading social cues that most of the age peers innately are attuned to. Second, gifted students have difficulty responding appropriately in social settings, partly due to their inability to read social cues. This is just part of their busy, busy brain. It is so active cognitively that it struggles to keep up with the more interpersonal areas.

I have found that role playing is a tremendously valuable, and fun, way to help students in this area. We take a variety of situations, act them out, analyze them and recreate them. I recommend letting children practice both good and bad responses to situations. I help them to see the social cues that are being manifested, point out tone of voice, attempt role reversals, and many other critical skills.

This help students to be better equipped when these situations come up. They have a repertoire of responses and possible ways to diffuse or capitalize on situations.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. If you want to be good at the piano, practice. If you want to learn another language, practice. If you want to be good at social settings, practice. We are so used to these wonderfully brilliant kiddoes being good at everything that they try that we forget that in some areas, they are just like other kiddoes- needing practice and guidance to be successful at what really matters.

For teachers, in our class morning meeting, students raise concerns about the daily classroom occurrences. We use these as opportunities for role playing because they at the heart of students feelings. You might try doing this once a week or every few days. I found it was the fastest way to resolve conflicts and strife in the classroom and create harmony. I've heard many parents who have instituted "Family Meetings" as well to discuss concerns in the family and practice role playing responses.

A few of our more popular scenarios you could act out:

• Asking someone to play (responding whether they say yes or no)

• Someone not sharing

• Not understanding a task (This is a good time to practice tone of voice)

• When someone is spreading rumors about you

• When the teacher marks your paper wrong incorrectly
  

A good rule of thumb for role playing is to teach your child to use "I" language instead of "you" language.

• "I feel frustrated when I am left out." vs. "You always leave me out."

• "I feel angry when I don't get to share my thoughts." vs. "You always boss me around."
  

• "I don't understand why you chose to do this." vs. "You are wrong."
  

Resource of the Week:

Dilemma in a Jar from Free Spirit

I have used Dilemma in a jar for five years in my classroom. I have found it is a helpful way to start off a role play discussion. There are a variety of dilemmas written on slips of paper. Children can pull a dilemma, and then act it out and discuss. If you have trouble coming up with ideas with your child or student, this can be a great resource.

Social and Emotional Issues: Part 2

We talked last week about some of the signs that your child may be gifted, based on their social and emotional tendencies when compared with their age level peers.

The bigger question, now that you have identified some of your concerns, is what to do about it. . .

I'd like to talk a little bit about bibliotherapy this week. Your child may already have retreated into books, and that might worry you. While we want gifted children (and all children) to form meaningful attachments to people around them and build interpersonal relationships, we also cannot discredit the importance of bibliotherapy.

This may be a term unfamiliar to you, as it was to me prior to joining the ranks of gifted educators. It simply means using books as tools of therapy for children. This tactic is especially helpful with students who are gifted. They have a better understanding of the abstract as well as an ability to extrapolate from hypothetical to actual situations.

As a parent, while you can't make friends for you child, you can help them to build their skills and expand their repertoire of experiences. One of the ways to build their experiences is through books. While your child can't go through every experience (and we certainly wouldn't want them to!), we can expose them through literature.

Let me give an example. Several years ago, I taught a student with Asperbergers. I knew before the school year that I would have this student, and I wanted to establish a supportive and understanding community. At the beginning of the school year, we did a book unit on the book Loser by Jerry Spinelli. The book chronicles the life a student with Asperbergers throughout his school year. Through reading the book together, we were able to talk through situations that might present themselves and hypothesize how we should each act in those situations. The book was critical in helping to establish a classroom where everyone could feel accepted and valued for themselves.

You could use this in your own home to talk about issues you want your child to understand. I always recommend that you preread a book before you read it together in order to make sure the content is appropriate for your personal family choices, and that you are prepared to answer questions your child might have. Here are several examples of books you might use and how:

On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
This book talks about two young boys who lie to their parents and the consequences. You could use this book to discuss honesty, peer pressure, and parental oversight.

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor
This is a great book to introduce the ideas of prejudice and social injustice. You can talk through many issues with your child as you determine what you feel about people's differences and how we relate to each other.

The Midwife's Apprentice by Karen Cushman
This is a great book to read with a daughter. You can spark excellent conversations about rising up from one's circumstances, the importance of perseverance and the fortitude of the human spirit.

These are just a few examples of ways you can use books to spark conversation and help connect with your child and talk through important issues. There are many, many books in the world just waiting to spark a conversation!

If you think your child is having a particular issue, I really recommend finding a book that is related to that issue and reading it together with your child. You may find your child is more willing to discuss the character and their challenges, as opposed to wanting to openly discuss their own concerns.

Please let me know if you have other questions about bibliotherapy as a strategy for helping gifted students with social and emotional concerns or if you would like me to recommend a specific book.

Resource of the Week:

Some of My Best Friends are Books

Social and Emotional Issues: Part 1

Why is it important to address the social and emotional needs of the gifted?

Well, I think you know the answer to that. You are probably reading this because you have already noticed that your gifted child may not be like the other children. We know that they seem to have trouble in this area, and we want to help.

Today, I am going to highlight a few of the signs I have come into contact with in my years of working with gifted kids.

• Highly gifted students have difficult accurately assessing social situations, missing social cues that many other age level mates navigate through

• When given a choice, bright children will choose an individual activity over a group activity
  

• Gifted kids feel lonely, set apart from their classroom peers

• Young gifted children will persist in parallel play much longer than children their age
  

• Gifted students often reach out in attempts to make friends, but feel rejected and end up isolating themselves

• Bright children choose to be alone
  

Do you recognize some of these characteristics in your child? What are some other areas not mentioned that stand out as concerns for you as a parent of a gifted child?

Tune in next week and we will talk more about the social and emotional issues related to gifted students.






Recommended Resource of the Week:

The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children: What Do we Know

Thanks for Your Input

For all of those who have taken the poll and given me their input on content, thank you!

One of the highest scores, and one of the issues I receive most questions and emails about, is the social and emotional development of gifted children.

My plan is to do a series of posts on the social and emotional development of gifted children. I plan to do four parts, each planned a week apart to post every Monday. On the final Monday, I plan to open the discussion up for Questions and Answers. I will do a final 5th post to answer those questions two Mondays from the final post to give people time to get their questions in on the Question and Answer post.

See you next Monday!

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I am in the process of revamping the blog. I was curious to know from those of you that are readers, what do you want to see? How can I be most helpful to you?

It would help me out tremendously in providing the content you are looking for if you would participate in my poll below.